Chassu...

Endou Yuuya desu. 

Welcome to Thursday everyone. The week is more than half finished and the future is looking a lot brighter. Sorry to everyone who might have seen our three depressing posts. (^^)U

Once everything had been brought out in the the open that night... we all had time to think about what we want and if everything is really worth all the trouble. For me... it's worth so much more. 

Nothing will ever be prefect, but perfect is boring, and I will always question where I stand with everyone, but I'll ask and not assume like I did before. Well... except for Shirota... we think too much alike for me to need to question where I stand with him, I'll always know without words. 

Ah... and to Takuya's friend who is having problems with their parents knowing they're gay... it'll be okay eventually. Your father or mother will eventually realize that this new information doesn't change the person you truly are. If they don't and turn you away, then at least know there are people who love you and will never abandon you for all the gold in the world. ((And you can talk to me about it if you'd like!! I'll keep your identity confidential))

So I'm thinking people are probably curious about my father's final verdict on me admitting my sexuality to the family. Unfortunately, I'm dead tired and that will have to wait until tomorrow... or something...

Endou Yuuya

Chassu... 

Endou Yuuya desu...

I'm hurting all over today. Amusement Parks aren't so much fun the day after. 

My day started off kind of bad... I got some bad news and then along comes Igarashi Shunji wanting someone to go to the amusement park with him. I figured it was a great way to take my mind off what I'd just been told, so I agreed. After all... Endou loves roller coasters, ne? Or at least, that's what he keeps telling everyone... Truthfully, they scare the crap out of me, I'm just a good actor. It might be the shaking, it makes my body feel like it's just come out of a drier. Maybe it's the drops, every rollercoaster has one and one loose screw and you're roadkill... either way, I come off them smiling and screaming about how much fun I'm having and trying to tell the person next to me it isn't as scary as they think. But I'm terrified... I end up going home and curling up into a ball and shake until I fall asleep or something. 

Tonight, though, I was at Koutarou's after it happened. So, instead of curling up under the covers like I normally do (Kou was alseep) I dragged the laptop and phone under his kitchen table and stayed there in the dark until talking with Shirota was able to take my mind off the shaking. 

Of course, if you give me a week, I'll be prefectly fine and willing to go on another. The things you do for your friends, right? Shunji had fun and I forgot about my problems for a day. It's better than depressed drinking, I guess. 

So Shirota and Aibacchi come back Friday night... maybe. Good luck to the third cast and Kuijrai and Aiba! You guys will be great!

Sorry, Yanagi, if I woke you this morning with my nightmares... somehow they were worse than usual. 

Endou Yuuya - 遠藤雄弥

CHAISSU!

Endou Yuuya desu~!

And I'm baack! (Finally! No more trips for me...) I know I said I would go straight to Yanagi's, but I know he's sleeping and I tend to make a lot of noise when I come back from nice road trips. So I'm going to drop my things off in my apartment and do a quick laundry and eat... then I'll be heading over to YanaKou's!

When I came home, I forgot that I'd changed the locks, so I ended up fighting with the door for ten minutes before I remembered to use my new set of keys *sweat*

We went to scope out the location the Director wants to use for the drama I might be signing on for... I'm not saying anything about it yet... but it looks like fun! Manager-san came with me on the trip, even though I didn't think he was ready for another trip so soon after what happened to his wife, Youko-neesan. He's still very sad about losing his little baby, even though he wears a happy face. He told me his wife was discharged from the hospital and there's nothing stopping him from doing his job. I felt bad for him so I promised I would try to talk to Shirota and Yanagi about how they treat him in the hallways. He gave me this pained look and changed the subject. I hope Youko-neesan is doing okay... 

And what's this I hear about YanaKou being confused? Did I miss something while I was away? Shirota and Aiba been talking to you?

Oh, and Aibacchi... I have you're "winnings" from the bet we made... I found a little store while I was away. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. If it hadn't been for the weird looks the lady was giving me... and the store clerk kept hitting on me... I would have been fine... stupid bet... I better get some good food out of this... 

So I shall go eat, wash my clothes, have a shower and then head over to Yanagi's for a week. 

Endou Yuuya - 遠藤雄弥

Chassu.

Endou Yuuya de~su.

I'm back from my family vacation with a bunch of doubts. Why are adults so decieving? Am I really as naive as I think? 

We went to the beach with a bunch of family friends and I learned that one of my friends (who I've known since I was very little) her parents are getting separated. I'm not saying I think love will last forever or anything, like that, but the gossip is saying her father caught her mother sleeping with someone else. That's where I had the problems... They were married... with two kids... How can someone do something like that to the person they're supposed to love? I could never see myself falling for a temptation so great that I would cheat on the person I loved behind their back... Am I really naive? Is the world really this dark? It's a question that bothered me the whole weekend. 

But, I did have fun despite the sad state of my friend's family. I didn't get to the tennis courts like I was promised, but I found another way to work things out. I got to swim, but now I think I have a sunburn on my shoulders and back... and I think my face is a little pinker than usual. It isn't so bad that it's painful, though, something I'm happy for. 

On the last day (today), I finally told my parents about Koutarou. It was a very awkward moment for everyone. My mother didn't move a muscle for a whole minute before she grinned and told me the already assumed I liked "That nice young boy" she was only surprised we were already dating. My father was another reaction. I'm still not too sure how he's taking the news because he just got up and walked out of the room. The car ride home was very quiet. Mother was the only one who said anything, but even she was worried about the tense air around the family. He hasn't yelled at me or told me I'm staining the family name yet, so it's not the worst reaction I could have gotten... not the best either. 

I am back, though, and happy to be back in my own apartment, despite the dishes that have piled up in the last few days. Maybe I'll just put them off until tomorrow... I want to call Koutarou and see if he wants to come over or something... that and I know Shirotan is waiting for me to come online. 

Endou Yuuya - 遠藤雄弥

Chaissu!

I woke up this morning to find three things missing. Koutarou (who slept over last night), the spaghetti dinner we didn't touch, and a plastic container. (I hope it tastes good, Kou!) Surprisingly, I just want one of those three things back.

They let me out early from work today, and I come home to find my parents waiting for me... (sweat)

Yeah... I'm going with my mother and father to the beach for the weekend. They guilt tripped me into going ("I still have nightmares about my little Yuuya-chan living all alone!")... otherwise I would have spent a nice relaxing weekend with Kou... doing things I shall not name. (laughs) I think it will be fun, until I finally mention that I'm dating Koutarou... I'll let everyone know their reaction if I'm still alive when they bring me back. 

I was hoping to have more time to prepare, but I don't, so I wont be able to say goodbye to anyone. (cries)

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! I'll see you all when I get back...

And to Koutarou... sorry for ruining movie theatres for you I'm not REALLY sorry... and to Shirota, since you're not on right now, I'll just have to wait until Monday night to talk to you! We need to replan our Yuu-night. Channaka has been glaring at me in the halls... (sweat)

Oh yeah... I forgot to post my answer to that stupid question I asked before... which only three people answered...
If I were to lose all my personal belongings... end of the world sort of way... I would keep a photo album of everyone I love with me. This way if they aren't with me physically, I can still be able to look at everyone's faces. Shirota says memories are enough for him, but I think it's a lot more comforting if you don't have to imagine things... 

So I should finish packing... my father is starting to pick on me... (cries)

Endou Yuuya

Where would you be if you hadn’t made the choice to go into entertainment? What would your life be like? Would it be better? Worse? Would you be a different person? What would happen to the people you love?

If you had the chance to go back and change everything, would you? Would you want a different life? Would you be willing to give up the good things to get rid of the bad?

My other question, that smacked me in the back of the head while I was working today was… what are some valid reasons that two people in love should split up? Even if it’s only for a few months weeks… Are there any?

These are all... mostly rhetorical questions... the real kind of rhetorical... not Shirotan's version of it... (ie. me and Koutarou aren't breaking up just yet or anything... and I can't change who I am or the things that have happened to me...)

Endou Yuuya

Chaissu! 

Endou Yuuya, back from Osaka. 

Lately I've been having bad stomache aches and the one I got on... Tuesday? Wednesday? Was from eating Takoyaki, like I thought. Manager-san says I haven't been eating right lately and I haven't been sleeping right, so that's why my body is reacting that way. (^^)U I just hope it stops soon... I also was sick on the plane home, but... that was definitely not my fault (or so Koutarou and Aibacchi keep telling me... FYI: Never take your eyes away from your drink in a crowded bar... you never know what someone will put in it! I learned that the hard way...)

So… here’s the list of everything I promised I would talk about:

1. Takoyaki – Don’t eat too much of it, even if you’re in the Takoyaki Capital of the world.
2. Ota-Road – I know a bunch of people who would die to go there… There are so many maid cafés there… It’s even got a Gundam store.
3. Universal Studios – We went there for a magazine article on the movie. Took a bunch of pictures with some cars (the usual stuff for the movie), but then we were able to go on all the rides and stuff after we finished the promotion event for the day. My favourite ride is the Jurassic Park one and the TERMINATOR 2: 3d show…
4. Maishima Sports Island – This place is insane. It’s right across the bay from Universal Studios and they have practically every sport imaginable… they have a “sea-side tennis garden”, a huge baseball stadium, soccer fields, lodges to stay at… I want to go back. We weren’t there long enough for my liking.
5. The Kyoucera Dome Osaka – I didn’t do much here, but Manager-san really wanted to go in for a look. He even managed to get the cleaning staff  to let him quickly peak into the baseball team’s dressing rooms.

Right now I'm going over to stay at Koutarou's for a little bit, I'm sure Shirota will be pleased to know I'm not on my own tonight. 

I'll let everyone know how everything is in the morning. I've had a rough week and I just want to sleep for a thousand years to forget about the whole thing.

Endou Yuuya

Endou Yuuya desu... not enough time to do a proper introduction here... >_<

I'm on my second last day in Osaka and Manager-san wants me to go around doing publicity events and stuff. I still haven't even dried my hair and he expects me to be at my best... (_ _)u

I'll be on a plane back to Tokyo tomorrow night, after Manager-san's big 'last night in Osaka' bash... I'm worried for my safety...  With any luck, President Araki, I won't HAVE to remember those 'techniques'.

Here's a list of all the stuff I'm going to mention when I finally come back: Takoyaki, Ota-Road, Universal Studios (One of the promotion events was in there!), Maishima Sports Island and the Osaka Dome... Not that I spent much time in any of these places... (^^)u

For now I have to go... Manager-san hasgotten very skilled at threatening me... he knows where my sneakers are hidden in the hotel... >_<

I'll talk to you all either later tonight, or tomorrow night!!

Endou Yuuya

PS. Wasn't I cute in Yasha?

Chassu~!

Endou Yuuya desu...

I'm surprised I'm awake so early. I know it's just quarter past eleven, but I was up until 5am talking with Koutarou-sama. (laughs) I've cleared the air about my er... 'betrayal' to him and things are... better. Nothings fixed by a long shot, but... we've pulled ourselves up the rope and are now slowly making our way up the mountain. Though, I suppose only Aiba would get that reference. (^^)v And I've now learned the true meaning of a "hypothetical" question... why does no one use them like they're supposed to anymore? What if I really was talking hypothetically?!

I suppose I should tell everyone what happened. Not in any great detail, but... well I kind of involved you all when I posted that question on cheating. I, Endou Yuuya, cheated on Yanagi Koutarou a couple of days ago. It's absolutely none of your business with who, only that I've confessed to YanaKou and we're working on... well... fixing things. 

On a similar note, Koutarou-sama (grins) and I are officially...almost dating. After tonight, hopefully I can drop the "almost". ^_~ 

Oh, thank you to everyone who offered their help with my er... cheating problem. Not that I have a problem... I mean... I did it, but I'm not obsessed with doing it... er... That's Shirota's problem I suppose. He won't stop telling me about his sex life with Aibacchi... it's pure torture!!!... That and he keeps calling me a weiner.... the stupid horny COW!!!

So tonight, Koutarou-sama is coming over to my place for a sleepover... he'll be really tired, so I'm not sure how much talking we'll do if any, but it's been so long since I've seen him that I'm still happy. It will be our little "stayathome" date. 

Oh and Kou-chan... the reason I was getting all pervy last night when we were talking about our given names is... I was getting ideas about saying your name during...ah... certain bed-time activities... (or in your case, kitchen table, couch, hallway and shower activities... *blushes*)... nothing. (^^)v

I hope everyone is doing well! Aiba, keep your horny boyfriend away from me... he's trying to corrupt me or something, I swear... he kept telling me to jump Koutarou-sama last night... >_<

I have to tidy up a little for later....

Endou Yuuya - 遠藤雄弥

Konnichiwa!

Endou Yuuya desu~!

I've had something bothering me since last night (I noticed it when I was posting my answers to those questions) and I was wondering what everyone's opinion is. 

When does the cheating start? What do you consider cheating? Is it when you sleep with someone you aren't supposed to or is it when you start having thoughts about someone else? What if whatever you've done was a once in a lifetime thing that wil never become anything more? Is it still considered cheating if you know you will never love anyone more than the person you 'cheated' on?

This is all hypothetical, though, of course.