Endou Yuuya - 遠藤雄弥

Hisabisa, ne?

2006-10-06T04:55:33Z

Wow... I've gone back to my old non-updating ways... at least I'm not nearly as bad as Zukkii... the last time he updated his D-Boys blog was January... So compared to him, I update regularly.

Things have been going good... apparently my aunt wasn't in on the family secret of their actor relative being gay.... and tried to hook me up with my cousin... it went kind of bad when I told her no, but my cheek isn't as bruised as I thought it would be (She has a mean right hook)... the make-up-san was amazing with the skin stuff.

So filming of Nodame has finished finally, everyone check out the episodes when they come out!! It was a really fun project to work on, but they worked us really hard when they were serious about filming.

Koutarou has been at work a lot, too so I haven't seen much of him at all ;_; I hope Shirotan has been looking after him!

This was dinner tonight... it was good... now I'm hungry again...

Endou Yuuya

double_ryoma @ 2006-09-20T20:53:00

2006-09-21T01:39:10Z

I didn't know where else to go, so I decided to post my thoughts here...

I'm feeling so confused and everyone is telling me I was wrong, but I really don't feel like I was the one who should have compromised.

I recently told Koutarou that I was feeling pressured into always having sex with him because he's gone so much that I have to make up for the time we're apart. I told him that even though he never said it, I got the impression that all he wanted was to have sex with me anytime we were free for long enough. He assured me that wasn't the case, but also that talking was a waste of the time he had off of work... I just felt... like he hadn't heard a word I said. I wanted to catch up with him, talk like we used to when we were just friends... flirt and all of that good stuff. Now anytime I flirt with them, it ends up in sex.

I told Yuu about it and he just said that "If you want to just cuddle.. Kou doesn't mind" and "Kou.. is a man of simplicities.. Sex is great but, he likes to hold you too." I had said no... I had said I just wanted the cuddling... so I tried to talk to Hiroki... and he said "Kou really needs you physically. Both of you need to meet each other half way on this." And then brought up times when I wanted him to be more intimate with me... Three people can't be wrong about me, can they?

All I wanted was to be close to him again... why does sex seem to be the only way of being physically and emotionally close to someone?

I ended up having sex with Koutarou anyways... (It's not like he's not attractive, you know...)

double_ryoma @ 2006-09-09T17:36:00

2006-09-09T21:39:15Z

Chaissu!
Endou Yuuya desu!

It's been a while.. not that I'm normally good at posting regularly anyways. Ahh... right now we're all at the onsen (Me, Yanagi, Aiba and Shirota) So if you don't see us all weekend, we're soaking in the hot springs!

I should be very happy, but I have to go to the local internet cafe and work out a bunch of meetings and interviews, but the onsen's old man agreed to drop me off (I'm supposed to go in a few minutes) and he's going to come back and pick me up around midnight or something.

What else should I say... oh, me and Shirota have stopped our big fights... not that anyone knew we were fighting in the first place. ^_^U

Ahh... all I can think about is being forced to do work while I'm on vacation at the onsen... I'll try and post again later with a better update on how I'm doing.

Endou Yuuya

double_ryoma @ 2006-08-24T03:14:00

2006-08-24T07:21:37Z

Chassu...

Endou Yuuya desu.

Welcome to Thursday everyone. The week is more than half finished and the future is looking a lot brighter. Sorry to everyone who might have seen our three depressing posts. (^^)U

Once everything had been brought out in the the open that night... we all had time to think about what we want and if everything is really worth all the trouble. For me... it's worth so much more.

Nothing will ever be prefect, but perfect is boring, and I will always question where I stand with everyone, but I'll ask and not assume like I did before. Well... except for Shirota... we think too much alike for me to need to question where I stand with him, I'll always know without words.

Ah... and to Takuya's friend who is having problems with their parents knowing they're gay... it'll be okay eventually. Your father or mother will eventually realize that this new information doesn't change the person you truly are. If they don't and turn you away, then at least know there are people who love you and will never abandon you for all the gold in the world. ((And you can talk to me about it if you'd like!! I'll keep your identity confidential))

So I'm thinking people are probably curious about my father's final verdict on me admitting my sexuality to the family. Unfortunately, I'm dead tired and that will have to wait until tomorrow... or something...

Endou Yuuya

double_ryoma @ 2006-08-21T05:58:00

2006-08-21T10:19:35Z

Ah... I wish I had a more depressing picture of myself to post.

Today is a sad day, it seems because I have lost the two people I loved more than anything (aside from parents, of course), my best friends. No, they're not dead. Far from it (Aiba and Kime would murder me if they were). I suppose I should tell you what happened... but well... I'm not a jerk. It's as much their faults as it is mine... I'm just hurting a lot more because of it. I, after all, fell in love with them both.

Tricky thing, being in love with two people at once... messy when you're allowed the bite of the forbidden apple... and now I have a bitter taste in my mouth. Heh... nice imagery, ne? But despite the eloquent words, I feel like my world is caving in on me. One of my best friends didn't understand my love for the second... ended up in a big messy fight which dear little Aiba-chan slept through.

So, I'm back at home... in my own apartment... without a futon... and without Chiisuke to keep me company, and I was thinking... now would be a great time to have that knife at my back again... this time, though, I'd cry for help because I have nothing left to lose. Angsty, isn't it? The best part is only two people understand what it means...

Why couldn't we have just followed Aiba to sleep?

NOTE TO EVERYONE

On a more serious note, I've now seen need to let people know that there have been a number of attacks on Tenimyu cast members. I was the first. One of them was raped. Please be aware. Buddy up and all that stuff. No matter how shitty I'm feeling, I don't want to see anyone else hurt. Trust me, it's bad. As in... everyone gets hurt because of it.

I'm going to go to sleep now... I've turned my phone off and I'm not answering the door, so don't bother. I will check on this from time to time... less emotional outbursts when there's a few minutes delay between messages... it's easy to ignore too.

To Aiba Hiroki: I'm sorry the world is a darker place for you to wake up to.

double_ryoma @ 2006-08-16T10:48:00

2006-08-16T15:00:11Z

Chassu...

Endou Yuuya desu...

I'm hurting all over today. Amusement Parks aren't so much fun the day after.

My day started off kind of bad... I got some bad news and then along comes Igarashi Shunji wanting someone to go to the amusement park with him. I figured it was a great way to take my mind off what I'd just been told, so I agreed. After all... Endou loves roller coasters, ne? Or at least, that's what he keeps telling everyone... Truthfully, they scare the crap out of me, I'm just a good actor. It might be the shaking, it makes my body feel like it's just come out of a drier. Maybe it's the drops, every rollercoaster has one and one loose screw and you're roadkill... either way, I come off them smiling and screaming about how much fun I'm having and trying to tell the person next to me it isn't as scary as they think. But I'm terrified... I end up going home and curling up into a ball and shake until I fall asleep or something.

Tonight, though, I was at Koutarou's after it happened. So, instead of curling up under the covers like I normally do (Kou was alseep) I dragged the laptop and phone under his kitchen table and stayed there in the dark until talking with Shirota was able to take my mind off the shaking.

Of course, if you give me a week, I'll be prefectly fine and willing to go on another. The things you do for your friends, right? Shunji had fun and I forgot about my problems for a day. It's better than depressed drinking, I guess.

So Shirota and Aibacchi come back Friday night... maybe. Good luck to the third cast and Kuijrai and Aiba! You guys will be great!

Sorry, Yanagi, if I woke you this morning with my nightmares... somehow they were worse than usual.

Endou Yuuya - 遠藤雄弥

double_ryoma @ 2006-08-14T15:20:00

2006-08-14T21:01:01Z

CHAISSU!

Endou Yuuya desu~!

And I'm baack! (Finally! No more trips for me...) I know I said I would go straight to Yanagi's, but I know he's sleeping and I tend to make a lot of noise when I come back from nice road trips. So I'm going to drop my things off in my apartment and do a quick laundry and eat... then I'll be heading over to YanaKou's!

When I came home, I forgot that I'd changed the locks, so I ended up fighting with the door for ten minutes before I remembered to use my new set of keys *sweat*

We went to scope out the location the Director wants to use for the drama I might be signing on for... I'm not saying anything about it yet... but it looks like fun! Manager-san came with me on the trip, even though I didn't think he was ready for another trip so soon after what happened to his wife, Youko-neesan. He's still very sad about losing his little baby, even though he wears a happy face. He told me his wife was discharged from the hospital and there's nothing stopping him from doing his job. I felt bad for him so I promised I would try to talk to Shirota and Yanagi about how they treat him in the hallways. He gave me this pained look and changed the subject. I hope Youko-neesan is doing okay...

And what's this I hear about YanaKou being confused? ~~Did I miss something while I was away? Shirota and Aiba been talking to you?~~

Oh, and Aibacchi... I have you're "winnings" from the bet we made... I found a little store while I was away. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. If it hadn't been for the weird looks the lady was giving me... ~~and the store clerk kept hitting on me~~... I would have been fine... stupid bet... I better get some good food out of this...

So I shall go eat, wash my clothes, have a shower and then head over to Yanagi's for a week.

Endou Yuuya - 遠藤雄弥

double_ryoma @ 2006-08-10T14:24:00

2006-08-10T18:23:58Z

Chaissu!

Endou Yuuya desu...

A quick update before Aibacchi kicks me out of my own house... I'm going out for a few hours... so I won't be home to check my messages. Aiba is forcing me to get my locks replaced... Stupid paranoid pair...

I visited Yanagi yesterday, and he's doing fine. Drinking coke and everything. (I helped him walk to the vending machine...) He says he'll be out today, but if he gives the doctors trouble, or opens his stitchings it might be longer. He's stubborn like that.

I'm leaving now, so if you want me, phone me!

Endou Yuuya - 遠藤雄弥

double_ryoma @ 2006-08-07T18:31:00

2006-08-08T01:48:56Z

Chassu.

Endou Yuuya de~su.

I'm back from my family vacation with a bunch of doubts. Why are adults so decieving? Am I really as naive as I think?

We went to the beach with a bunch of family friends and I learned that one of my friends (who I've known since I was very little) her parents are getting separated. I'm not saying I think love will last forever or anything, like that, but the gossip is saying her father caught her mother sleeping with someone else. That's where I had the problems... They were married... with two kids... How can someone do something like that to the person they're supposed to love? I could never see myself falling for a temptation so great that I would cheat on the person I loved behind their back... Am I really naive? Is the world really this dark? It's a question that bothered me the whole weekend.

But, I did have fun despite the sad state of my friend's family. I didn't get to the tennis courts like I was promised, but I found another way to work things out. I got to swim, but now I think I have a sunburn on my shoulders and back... and I think my face is a little pinker than usual. It isn't so bad that it's painful, though, something I'm happy for.

On the last day (today), I finally told my parents about Koutarou. It was a very awkward moment for everyone. My mother didn't move a muscle for a whole minute before she grinned and told me the already assumed I liked "That nice young boy" she was only surprised we were already dating. My father was another reaction. I'm still not too sure how he's taking the news because he just got up and walked out of the room. The car ride home was very quiet. Mother was the only one who said anything, but even she was worried about the tense air around the family. He hasn't yelled at me or told me I'm staining the family name yet, so it's not the worst reaction I could have gotten... not the best either.

I am back, though, and happy to be back in my own apartment, despite the dishes that have piled up in the last few days. Maybe I'll just put them off until tomorrow... I want to call Koutarou and see if he wants to come over or something... that and I know Shirotan is waiting for me to come online.

Endou Yuuya - 遠藤雄弥

double_ryoma @ 2006-08-04T14:52:00

2006-08-04T19:06:05Z

Chaissu!

I woke up this morning to find three things missing. Koutarou (who slept over last night), the spaghetti dinner we didn't touch, and a plastic container. (I hope it tastes good, Kou!) Surprisingly, I just want one of those three things back.

They let me out early from work today, and I come home to find my parents waiting for me... (sweat)

Yeah... I'm going with my mother and father to the beach for the weekend. They guilt tripped me into going ("I still have nightmares about my little Yuuya-chan living all alone!")... otherwise I would have spent a nice relaxing weekend with Kou... doing things I shall not name. (laughs) I think it will be fun, until I finally mention that I'm dating Koutarou... I'll let everyone know their reaction if I'm still alive when they bring me back.

I was hoping to have more time to prepare, but I don't, so I wont be able to say goodbye to anyone. (cries)

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! I'll see you all when I get back...

And to Koutarou... sorry for ruining movie theatres for you ~~I'm not REALLY sorry~~... and to Shirota, since you're not on right now, I'll just have to wait until Monday night to talk to you! We need to replan our Yuu-night. Channaka has been glaring at me in the halls... (sweat)

Oh yeah... I forgot to post my answer to that stupid question I asked before... ~~which only three people answered~~...
If I were to lose all my personal belongings... end of the world sort of way... I would keep a photo album of everyone I love with me. This way if they aren't with me physically, I can still be able to look at everyone's faces. Shirota says memories are enough for him, but I think it's a lot more comforting if you don't have to imagine things...

So I should finish packing... my father is starting to pick on me... (cries)

Endou Yuuya

double_ryoma @ 2006-08-03T20:08:00

2006-08-04T00:15:47Z

Chassu~!

I didn't get much sleep from the storm last night, and what made it even worse was that when it started to go crazy outside, I was attacked by hiccups. I haven't had hiccups that bad since I was little. But Shirota was there and Aibacchi too.

I talked with Kime for the first time in a really long time. (_ _)U I'm sorry I was so dense about who you liked. I honestly didn't know who you were talking about. Thank you and Abe for agreeing to cook for me and Yanagi sometime, I know he'll love it.

I'm getting ready for my date with Koutarou tonight. I hope it goes well. (Shirota, I still haven't really decided what I'm going to do about what we talked about. Maybe things will just develop naturally... ~~but not too naturally~~!)☆

I'm still very tired, even though I took yesterday off. They had me working overtime today (there was a HUGE stack of scripts for me to run through... and I'm still not done.) Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day! d=(^__^)=b

Well... off to the movies with Koutarou! 頑張ります!!~♪!

Endou Yuuya

double_ryoma @ 2006-08-02T00:07:00

2006-08-02T04:15:16Z

Chassu.

Today we had a major photoshoot, but it was fun ~~I HATE THE HEAT!!!~~ Then we ended up having dinner at McDonald's.

Something happened through the day, which is kind of annoying me and I figure I might as well share. Have you ever known exactly what you want to do, but your body physically won't do it? As in... you're telling your body to do one thing and it's not responding at all? Well... it happened to me again today... I was sorting through a bunch of scripts Manager-san brought with him for me to look over for my next drama or movie (which ever I choose) and my thumb wouldn't move to pick one of the booklets up from the pile. I ignored it, but it happened a couple of times. I'm not worried about it, but sometimes it's frustrating to not be able to move your body the way you want to... or to have a delay in reactions.

Another thing that happened that embarrassed me was while we were eating in McDonald's, my foot twitched and I ended up kicking one of the girls from the cast. She looked at me weird and started laughing. I apologized, but she just smiled and said not to worry about it. Yeah... over the last few days my body has been moving when I don't want it to and not moving when I want it to move... (_ _)u

I find it amusing that I'm slowly invading everyone's thoughts with either things I do or things I say (laugh). So I'm going to continue with my thought-provokingness with a simple question. If the world collapsed tomorrow and you were allowed to save one thing, what would that one thing be? No people! (Because then everyone would choose the person they love, or their parents, etc)

I'll post my answer to this tomorrow... I'm still thinking about it... ^__^

Endou Yuuya.

double_ryoma @ 2006-07-31T20:51:00

2006-08-01T03:57:17Z

Chaissu~!!!!

So... I was going to post before I left, but I had no time. Yokohama is hot!!! (It's only 1/2 an hour from downtown Tokyo... but still! Heat wave!!!)

I've been thinking a little and I have some questions for you all...

Where would you be if you hadn’t made the choice to go into entertainment? What would your life be like? Would it be better? Worse? Would you be a different person? What would happen to the people you love?

If you had the chance to go back and change everything, would you? Would you want a different life? Would you be willing to give up the good things to get rid of the bad?

My other question, that smacked me in the back of the head while I was working today was… what are some valid reasons that two people in love should split up? Even if it’s only for a few ~~months~~ weeks… Are there any?

These are all... mostly rhetorical questions... the real kind of rhetorical... not Shirotan's version of it... (ie. me and Koutarou aren't breaking up just yet or anything... and I can't change who I am or the things that have happened to me...)

Endou Yuuya

double_ryoma @ 2006-07-30T02:14:00

2006-07-30T06:18:04Z

Chaissu!

Endou Yuuya, back from Osaka.

Lately I've been having bad stomache aches and the one I got on... Tuesday? Wednesday? Was from eating Takoyaki, like I thought. Manager-san says I haven't been eating right lately and I haven't been sleeping right, so that's why my body is reacting that way. (^^)U I just hope it stops soon... I also was sick on the plane home, but... that was definitely not my fault (~~or so Koutarou and Aibacchi keep telling me...~~ FYI: Never take your eyes away from your drink in a crowded bar... you never know what someone will put in it! I learned that the hard way...)

So… here’s the list of everything I promised I would talk about:

Takoyaki – Don’t eat too much of it, even if you’re in the Takoyaki Capital of the world.
Ota-Road – I know a bunch of people who would die to go there… There are so many maid cafés there… It’s even got a Gundam store.
Universal Studios – We went there for a magazine article on the movie. Took a bunch of pictures with some cars (the usual stuff for the movie), but then we were able to go on all the rides and stuff after we finished the promotion event for the day. My favourite ride is the Jurassic Park one and the TERMINATOR 2: 3d show…
Maishima Sports Island – This place is insane. It’s right across the bay from Universal Studios and they have practically every sport imaginable… they have a “sea-side tennis garden”, a huge baseball stadium, soccer fields, lodges to stay at… I want to go back. We weren’t there long enough for my liking.
The Kyoucera Dome Osaka – I didn’t do much here, but Manager-san really wanted to go in for a look. He even managed to get the cleaning staff to let him quickly peak into the baseball team’s dressing rooms.

Right now I'm going over to stay at Koutarou's for a little bit, I'm sure Shirota will be pleased to know I'm not on my own tonight.

I'll let everyone know how everything is in the morning. I've had a rough week and I just want to sleep for a thousand years to forget about the whole thing.

Endou Yuuya

double_ryoma @ 2006-07-27T13:01:00

2006-07-27T17:11:37Z

Endou Yuuya desu... not enough time to do a proper introduction here... >_<

I'm on my second last day in Osaka and Manager-san wants me to go around doing publicity events and stuff. I still haven't even dried my hair and he expects me to be at my best... (_ _)u

I'll be on a plane back to Tokyo tomorrow night, after Manager-san's big 'last night in Osaka' bash... I'm worried for my safety... ~~With any luck, President Araki, I won't HAVE to remember those 'techniques'.~~

Here's a list of all the stuff I'm going to mention when I finally come back: Takoyaki, Ota-Road, Universal Studios (One of the promotion events was in there!), Maishima Sports Island and the Osaka Dome... Not that I spent much time in any of these places... (^^)u

For now I have to go... Manager-san hasgotten very skilled at threatening me... he knows where my sneakers are hidden in the hotel... >_<

I'll talk to you all either later tonight, or tomorrow night!!

Endou Yuuya

PS. Wasn't I cute in Yasha?

double_ryoma @ 2006-07-25T22:31:00

2006-07-26T02:43:52Z

Endou Yuuya desu~!

I don't have much time (manager is threatening me with sleeping pills) but I thought I would update everyone on where I was... and why I might not be answering my phone. I'm in lovely OOSAKA!!! Yay.

It's for the promotion of my new movie DRIFT... which you all should go see when it comes out!!! (Manager -san looking over my shoulder has reinformed me that it's already out... and I'm a complete idiot... it came out June 17... SO GO WATCH MEEEE!!! I'm almost a main character!........Manager-san has also reminded me that this is far from being the first promotional 'tour' I've done for this movie.)

So, me and everyone are safe and sound in our little hotel beds in Osaka. I believe the next place we're headed is Yokohama, but hopefully they'll let me stop by my apartment and pick up more clothes and my cell phone... if I can find it.

Short, but my life is being threatened, so I shall go to sleep now... hopefully I'll be able to talk to all of you soon!!!

(P.S. Yuu... when do you want to meet up with Yuuma, Yuuichi and me? I'm free... I think next weekend... the one after the upcoming one... nothing planned... Yuuichi wants to go to a Tokyo night club... I think the dress is making him worry about his masculinity so he needs to pick up chicks... (laughs)... let me know if you're free... talk to the other two if you see them before me!!)

Endou Yuuya... 遠藤雄弥

double_ryoma @ 2006-07-24T12:54:00

2006-07-24T17:24:28Z

Chaissu!

Endou Yuuya desu!~♪♪♪

Yeah, so I got sick yesterday. And now I'm kind of hungry. I ended up puking up all my dinner... and I'm now lacking in stomache content. ~~It sucks that I'm still feeling nauseous~~.

So... in other news, me and Yanagi are official ~~don't tell Watanabe~~ and things are going good. Things are back on track with us... as well as with Shirota and Aiba...

I saw two movies recently, Pirates of the Caribbean (With Nakamura Yuuichi) and Superman (again with Yuuichi... he guilt tripped me into it, I swear! Maa-kun, and Igarashi Shunji came too). I was thinking... all of the D-Boy Yuus need to do something together... Yuuma, Yuuichi, Yuu and me, Yuuya. (laugh)

I'm glad that more of the first cast have joined this journal thing. Welcome, Souta-san, Naoya and Tuti!!! (^_^)=b

I'm sure I had more to say today, but I've forgotten what it all was... ~~☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆Shirotan's buying me that sneaker collector's guide!!!!!... I've been good! It took me almost two weeks before I mentioned~~... ahem...☆

And the last thing, still no word on what has become of the magazine article... maybe they'll just forget about it? Wishful thinking?

I'm going to make myself some food, hope it stays down... and clean up a bit... ever since Yanagi has kept sleeping over, I can't seem to keep it nice and orderly like I prefer... (._.)U

Endou Yuuya - 遠藤雄弥

double_ryoma @ 2006-07-21T22:32:00

2006-07-22T02:56:30Z

Chassu~!

Endou Yuuya desu!

I have learned two new things about myself in the last hour while talking with Shirotan. The first is about my 'wants' as Shirota puts it. I might as well get it out before the second one because there will be a wonderful transformation after that one. So, I was asked what it is I want. I've been a little jerk to Koutarou and Shirota about the things I want from them both and I've finally started understanding what it is I really want. I look at a certain friend who has a wonderful loving and involved relationship, and I find myself fuming with jealousy. It's not because I want either of them, but I see the trust they so easily place in each other and I can't help but be envious. One, kisses someone else and has so much faith in himself and his feelings for his lover that he flat out refuses to believe he was 'cheating'. The other admits that if he ever cheated he would immediately tell his lover, not at all worried about the reaction he would get. They trust each other so much and love each other so much, nothing gets in their way.

And so comes to the part where I answer the question of 'What do you want?' I want what they have. I want to be secure in how I feel and trust absolutely in the person I love. Not that I don't trust him. I would trust him with my life... but my life and my heart are two different things and I'm constantly telling myself I don't deserve this much happiness and that ends up leading me to not trust everyone around me in case they feel the same way. I already know some of our friends are thinking that for what I did to Koutarou.

The second thing deals with me as a person. I'm very... annoying, ne? I angst too much, want things I don't deserve, and complain about the things I've got. Even what I wrote above sounds kind of self-pitying, ne? So... I'm going to fix everything myself.

Hajimemashite! Atarashii Endou Yuuya desu! There will be no more angst and crap here. I forbid it. *grins* Please don't pity me or whatever I know people are going to do. I didn't write this for that. I wrote it so... I could be truthful to everyone and let everyone know I've changed. Eto... I think this whole entry sounds weird... so I shall just stop now... should I even post this?

Have a good evening! I shall, Kou-chan is coming over!!!

Endou Yuuya - 遠藤雄弥

double_ryoma @ 2006-07-21T11:13:00

2006-07-21T15:32:34Z

Chassu~!

Endou Yuuya desu...

I'm surprised I'm awake so early. I know it's just quarter past eleven, but I was up until 5am talking with Koutarou-sama. (laughs) I've cleared the air about my er... 'betrayal' to him and things are... better. Nothings fixed by a long shot, but... we've pulled ourselves up the rope and are now slowly making our way up the mountain. Though, I suppose only Aiba would get that reference. (^^)v ~~And I've now learned the true meaning of a "hypothetical" question... why does no one use them like they're supposed to anymore? What if I really was talking hypothetically?!~~

I suppose I should tell everyone what happened. Not in any great detail, but... well I kind of involved you all when I posted that question on cheating. I, Endou Yuuya, cheated on Yanagi Koutarou a couple of days ago. It's absolutely none of your business with who, only that I've confessed to YanaKou and we're working on... well... fixing things.

On a similar note, Koutarou-sama (grins) and I are officially...almost dating. After tonight, hopefully I can drop the "almost". ^_~

Oh, thank you to everyone who offered their help with my er... cheating problem. Not that I have a problem... I mean... I did it, but I'm not obsessed with doing it... er... That's Shirota's problem I suppose. ~~He won't stop telling me about his sex life with Aibacchi... it's pure torture!!!... That and he keeps calling me a weiner.... the stupid horny COW!!!~~

So tonight, Koutarou-sama is coming over to my place for a sleepover... he'll be really tired, so I'm not sure how much talking we'll do if any, but it's been so long since I've seen him that I'm still happy. It will be our little "stayathome" date.

Oh and Kou-chan... the reason I was getting all pervy last night when we were talking about our given names is..~~. I was getting ideas about saying your name during...ah... certain bed-time activities... (or in your case, kitchen table, couch, hallway and shower activities... *blushes*)~~... nothing. (^^)v

I hope everyone is doing well! ~~Aiba, keep your horny boyfriend away from me... he's trying to corrupt me or something, I swear... he kept telling me to jump Koutarou-sama last night... >_<~~

I have to tidy up a little for later....

Endou Yuuya - 遠藤雄弥

double_ryoma @ 2006-07-20T10:48:00

2006-07-20T14:52:59Z

Konnichiwa!

Endou Yuuya desu~!

I've had something bothering me since last night (I noticed it when I was posting my answers to those questions) and I was wondering what everyone's opinion is.

When does the cheating start? What do you consider cheating? Is it when you sleep with someone you aren't supposed to or is it when you start having thoughts about someone else? What if whatever you've done was a once in a lifetime thing that wil never become anything more? Is it still considered cheating if you know you will never love anyone more than the person you 'cheated' on?

This is all hypothetical, though, of course.

Endou Yuuya - 遠藤雄弥

double_ryoma @ 2006-07-20T00:47:00

2006-07-20T04:58:46Z

Chaissu!

Endou Yuuya desu!

I promised Arayan I would post the answers to the questions we were supposed to answer for the magazine.

The age old question: Boxers or briefs? Boxers…~~sometimes~~
Would you prefer to date someone in the same profession as you or other? Same because you would have the time after work to hang out, but you also get to work with someone you really like.
Describe your first kiss. I guess I shouldn’t have chosen this question, seeing as how I’ve never had one (I don’t count acting kisses as real kisses), but I know how I’d like to describe it. Someone I trust and care a lot about. I wouldn’t trust anyone but a best friend with my first kiss. I want a fiery, passionate, “melt-to-a-puddle-of-goo” First Kiss… but I’ll probably get the awkward and uncomfortable First Kiss.
Have you ever thought about S&M? BDSM? Would you ever try either? I hadn’t even known what the letters stood for when I first saw the questions. Yanagi explained them to me. My answers are, No, No, .......…. Yes ~~without the pain~~.
Would you like to have children? No. I wouldn’t actively try to have kids because A. I’d kill the thing, B. They’re a lot of work to bring up, and C. I would much rather focus my attention on one single person.
What are your thoughts on adultery? I hate it. I don’t think I could allow myself to give a piece of my heart to someone who would willingly cheat on someone they’re supposed to love, even if they’re cheating with me. Even if they broke up with that person for me. I wouldn’t trust them because if they can do it to one person, what’s stopping them from doing the same to me? (Of course... recently my definition of cheating has changed to begin with sleeping with someone else, one little kiss doesn't mean anything, does it?)
Which do you prefer, words or actions? I prefer… actions I think, but both are equally important in keeping a relationship balanced. I just like being hugged by people, touching hands, that kind of thing. I’m not an affectionate person, but I love having other people being affectionate to me.
Do you think you’re the jealous type? How far would you go if your lover is threatened? I think I used to be the jealous type, but I know it can be damaging to the relationship if you’re constantly judging everyone they’re with. I would go as far as I need to in order to protect the one I love, but I don’t think they’d be very happy if I died. Their happiness is the most important thing to me.
How far would you go on a first date? If it’s someone I lov-like, I’d do anything they want.
Describe your perfect date. Anything can be considered a perfect date if things go right and you’re with someone you like being with.
What do you think would make ___________ (insert other person’s name) a good lover? Yanagi Koutarou. He’s very caring about everyone and everything. I think his attention to every little thing would make him an excellent lover.
How would you propose to the person you love? I’m not sure, but I’m going to tell you how it would end up going (not how I would want it to). I would try to have the person over for a home cooked meal, I’d forget about the dog next door who would probably end up barking through the evening. I’d forget to unplug the phone, so Shirotan would probably phone me. I’d end up giving up on trying to force things and just slip it into his pillowcase or something. Then I’d propose before they go to sleep.
What do you consciously look for in a lover? What are you unconsciously drawn to? I look for a friend above all else. If I can’t treat them like my best friend, they’ll never be close enough for a lover. I guess unconsciously I look for… someone with similar interests so we can enjoy things together, but not so similar that we can’t have the occasional petty argument to keep the passion alive.
Do you believe in true love? I don’t know. I would like to, but we’ll see how things go.

Shirota’s Tribute questions: (meaning he asked me to answer these two personally)

5. What do you think of fetishes? Do you have any fetishes? I guess they’re okay

13. How would you handle a “lover’s spat”? If I’m the one angry with my lover, I would take a few minutes or half a day or something to go somewhere else to cool off and think about things from their point of view. If we still have problems when I return, then I’d call a truce and move on (hopefully it’s not too big to solve that way). If he’s the one at fault… or if it’s my fault that he’s angry with me, I’ll try to fix it as soon as possible and then give it space to cool down and thing things over. Try to fix things, compromise, do my best and hope it isn’t enough to ruin everything. That’s all you can do sometimes.

I hope I answered the questions well enough for everyone. Thanks to Arayan, Yuu-kun and Kamakari-san for posting your own replies. It helps a lot.

As it turns out the questions for us are being edited by the Head Editor: Kitagawa-san. Me and Yanagi get some choice in what questions are asked! I'm sure they'll call him in soon to talk about it.

2, 4, 5, 8, 10, 12, 13, 16, 17, 20, 25, 26, and 30 have been completely thrown out. I'll explain Kitagawa-san and my decisions tomorrow. We had a meeting to discuss the whole thing a couple of days ago. For now I need to sleep.

Endou Yuuya

double_ryoma @ 2006-07-17T19:15:00

2006-07-17T23:26:21Z

Chaissu....

Endou Yuuya desu~!

I brought back my copy of the questions they're going to be asking us at the photoshoot WE set up for me and YanaKou. Koutarou's convinced me to post them here so he can read them... and I think it would make me less uncomfortable to answer them myself if I know other people have answered them too.

List of Questions:

The age old question: Boxers or briefs?
Which do you prefer as a companion, male or female?
Would you prefer to date someone in the same profession as you or other?
What are your thoughts on masturbation? Would you ever masturbate in front of your lover?
What do you think of fetishes? Do you have any fetishes?
Describe your first kiss.
If you could be with anybody in the world for just one night, no strings, who would it be and why, but most importantly what would you do with/to them?
Have you ever thought about S&M? BDSM? Would you ever try either?
How far have you gone in a relationship?
Would you ever dress up for sex?
Would you like to have children?
What are your thoughts on adultery?
How would you handle a “lover’s spat”?
Which do you prefer, words or actions? (Eg. Discussing your relationship or consummating it?)
Do you think you’re the jealous type? How far would you go if your lover is threatened?
What kinds of secrets would you keep from your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Have you ever been in an unhealthy relationship, romantic or otherwise (abuse)?
How far would you go on a first date?
Do you have any feelings for anyone at this moment?
Describe your perfect person.
Describe your perfect date.
What do you think would make ___________ (insert other person’s name) a good lover?
How would you propose to the person you love?
Describe your first crush.
Are you currently seeing anyone?
Do you like to be tied up or tie someone else up?
What do you consciously look for in a lover? What are you unconsciously drawn to?
What kind of person are you looking for? (Bookworm type? Rebel type? Leader type? Lusty type?)
Describe the most sexually intense dream you’ve ever had.
Do you believe in true love?

For number 22, I guess you could put anyone's name in. We've been told to answer 15-20 of these... I'll have to get back to you on which ones I'm going to/can answer... (_ _)

Endou Yuuya - 遠藤雄弥

double_ryoma @ 2006-07-17T02:47:00

2006-07-17T06:54:05Z

Chaissu!

Endou Yuuya desu~! ☆And I bring news!!☆☆

So I found out finally what it was that the magazine wanted me to do... it was not nice. I got a phone call from the WE representative, I think his name was Minamoto, and apparently Watanabe got really angry with the sketches they brought in to show what their plans were for me and Araki (but they hadn't gotten Araki in to sign anything yet so he didn't know about any of this...). It sounded kind of intrusive and... naughty to me, but I wasn't at the meeting.

Yanagi suggested that maybe what they wanted was a nude photoshoot, but they never gave me the specifics. I don't think my family would be too pleased if they saw something like that in a magazine. (_ _)

Everything’s been sorted through and the whole mess has been… corrected. The questions are a lot less intrusive (but still more than the average ones you get) and the photo shoot will definitely feature me wearing pants at least. I also got them to use Yanagi (because I said) because he seemed interested in doing the shoot with me. I think it’d be a lot easier to get us to do funny poses than me and Arayan… it’s not the same feeling, ne?☆

Speaking of Koutarou, I’ve finally figured out that he likes me, though it took me only a few hours after he figured it out himself. (~~Am I really dense, or is he worse?~~) The only thing is I don’t know what to define ‘us’ as… we’re not dating yet, we’re definitely a little past best friends… but nothing’s actually happened. Yet. ~~I’m trying to work up the courage to kiss him – My First Kiss (Rocket Boys doesn’t count).~~

He came over again for a sleepover. Nothing happened though – he just hugged me when he showed up and went straight to my futon. Out faster than you can say “EnYa”. ~~I miss him calling me that actually…~~

I stayed online a little bit more to get advice from Shirota on how to go forward. Arigatou, Yuu! He gave me a little courage to do something with Kou-chan and not let it all stay bottled up inside. He also gave me some very bad mental images, but those happen anytime the idea of him and Aiba making out comes up. ☆☆☆~~GANBATTE WITH YOUR LOVE PROBLEMS YUU!!~~☆☆☆

We also started reminiscing about our first meeting with Kimeru. For those who don’t know, we met him in the hospital Koutarou was staying in. Kimeru was by his ~~comatose~~ side when I came in and ~~went ballistic on the doctors~~ got a little angry. Little sixteen year old Yuuya trying to wrap the stethoscope around YanaKou’s doctor’s neck was not the way I would have liked to meet Kimeru-san. It took both him and Shirota to calm me down enough that I didn’t have to be “tranquilized”. The accident was a bad shock for me, I guess. I’m glad Koutarou wasn’t awake to see how horribly I acted. ~~(Not that I wanted him to be in the coma in the first place, but…)~~

I’m going to the office in the morning to pick up that list of questions the magazine wanted to ask me, I’ll post it here when I get home. Luckily, I don’t have to answer all of them. Koutarou either.

Oh yeah… Zukkii… stop telling my Koutarou to bite Kaji ~~stupid fetish~~. I have lots of pictures with which to blackmail you with if you don’t listen to me. (^-^)=b

☆Endou Yuuya - 遠藤雄弥

double_ryoma @ 2006-07-16T09:20:00

2006-07-16T16:27:44Z

CHAISSU!!!

Endou Yuuya desu~!☆

I got up early so I could make Kou-kun breakfast. I did promise him French Toast after all.

Last night went so much better than the previous night. I was thinking about making Koutarou chili cheese dogs, but then I remembered his Idol DVD (Which he refused to show me because he was too embarrassed ~~I had to steal Shirotan's copy of it... which reminds me, WHY DID YUU HAVE A COPY OF MY YANAKOU!?~~)and I couldn't stop laughing. So hamburgers pizza and hot dogs are a few foods I can't watch him eat without laughing. So I ended up doing my classic Spaghetti Supreme!! (with chicken and soy meatballs) For some reason, I can't screw that dish up. Which is a good thing. (^^)v

We ended up talking a bit and he assured me he wouldn't go into a relationship with anyone without telling me first. Not that I think he needs to go through me to find his happiness, but it hurt to think that he would go off on his own and leave me behind. We also talked about what we've been doing recently and what the rest of the D-Boys have been up to.

Which led to us crashing on the couch and watching the first three episodes of Princess Princess D (I taped it) because Koutarou-kun hadn't seen it yet. He kept remarking on how much more 'uke' Kamakari-san looked, while I couldn't control my giggles, watching Yuuichi (when Yuuichi came out in the dress Kou-chan nearly had a fit). I had to remind him that just because everyone thought he was likely to be the 'uke' in any relationship he had, it didn't mean he was any less manly. Case in point: Nakamura Yuuichi. Sure he looks amazing as a girl... and could probably turn any straight man gay with that outfit, but he's still considered 'seme' in his personality.

While we continued watching a little tv and chit-chatting, Chiisuke curled up onto Koutarou's lap and refused to let me sit any closer than two feet away from him. Stupid cat. ~~Like I'm the one you should be protecting him against...~~ He laughed at her antics while I silently fumed. (_ _)U

We ended going to sleep late and I was too tired to pull out the extra futon, so we just slept in mine. ~~Not that I minded.~~ He looks so... amazing when he's asleep. ~~The hand curled into my shirt didn't hurt either.~~

Sometimes, more than others, I can really feel the gap in our ages. He's been through so much that sometimes I'm just in awe being in the same room with him. I don't think I'd be able to go through what he went through and come out of it still sane. I want someone with that kind of strength to stay by my side always.

So, now I've prepared everything (just need to cook it now) and I'm waiting for him to wake up!

Endou Yuuya - 遠藤雄弥

double_ryoma @ 2006-07-15T19:32:00

2006-07-16T00:07:18Z

NOTE: READ MY POST ABOUT THE NIGHT YANAGI CAME OVER TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING (2 posts back)

Okay, so I'll try again (Thanks Yuu-kun... you know, it's only because your friend YamaPi calls you U-kun that I make all those puns on your name).

Chassu!
Endou Yuuya desu~!

Yanagi Koutarou, would you like to come over again tonight for dinner and breakfast? Yes, this means I'm asking you to sleep over. You don't need to bring anything (I still have some of your stuff here from the last few times you didn't want to go home to your mess).

I called the plumber to fix the broken toilet, I tossed that stupid ugly rug out, I've been promised by the landlord there will be no more drills for the next six months and I'll make something for dinner that I KNOW I can make (Blindfolded and with my hands behind my back). I can't promise there won't be any disasters, but I can try! Plus, I think we need to talk. Without the audience we'd get on LiveJournal.

I'll pull out the spare futon and stick it beside mine and we can share if you want. (=^-^=)

Oh, and Ouno-san's gone for the weekend so you don't have to worry about Pinkichi biting your leg again. I told Chiisuke to defend your honor. ~~Not that a cat will listen to me~~.

Endou Yuuya - 遠藤雄弥